Past-participle agreement with pronominal verbs
Summary
Pronominal verbs take être, but their participle really follows the preceding-direct-object rule, agreeing with the reflexive pronoun only when that pronoun is the direct object.
Explanation
All pronominal (reflexive) verbs conjugate their compound tenses with être: elle s'est levée, ils se sont lavés, nous nous sommes promenés. Although the auxiliary is être, the agreement does NOT simply track the subject the way ordinary être verbs do. Instead, the participle of a pronominal verb follows the preceding-direct-object rule: it agrees with whatever direct object comes before it, and the candidate is the reflexive pronoun (me, te, se, nous, vous).
In the common case the reflexive pronoun is itself the direct object, so the participle does agree — and because the pronoun refers back to the subject, the effect looks like subject agreement: elle s'est lavée (she washed herself), ils se sont levés (they got up). Here se = 'herself / themselves' is the direct object placed before the verb, so the participle takes the feminine or plural ending accordingly.
Agreement disappears as soon as the reflexive pronoun is NOT the direct object. Two situations cause this. First, when a separate direct object follows the verb, the reflexive pronoun becomes indirect: elle s'est lavé les mains (she washed her hands) has no agreement, because les mains is the direct object and se is now 'to herself'. Second, when the verb intrinsically takes an indirect object, as in se parler (parler à) or se téléphoner: elles se sont parlé and elles se sont téléphoné stay invariable.
So the test is always 'what is the direct object, and where is it?' If the reflexive pronoun is the direct object (and therefore precedes the verb), agree with the subject; if a noun after the verb is the direct object, or if the verb's complement is inherently indirect, leave the participle invariable. A handful of essentially pronominal verbs (se souvenir, s'en aller, s'enfuir) have no separable object and simply agree with the subject: elle s'est souvenue.
Rule of thumb: pronominal verb → auxiliary is always être, but do not blindly agree with the subject. Ask whether the reflexive pronoun is the direct object. If yes (elle s'est lavée), agree; if a direct object noun follows (elle s'est lavé les mains) or the pronoun is indirect (elles se sont parlé), no agreement. This is the same logic as the avoir rule, recast for reflexive pronouns.
Examples
Elle s'est levée à six heures. — She got up at six o'clock. (se is the direct object, so levée agrees with the subject elle.)
Elle s'est lavé les mains. — She washed her hands. (No agreement: les mains is the direct object, se is indirect.)
Ils se sont levés tôt. — They got up early. (Masculine plural: se is the direct object → levés.)
Elles se sont parlé pendant des heures. — They talked to each other for hours. (se parler = parler à (indirect), so parlé stays invariable.)
Nous nous sommes promenés dans le parc. — We took a walk in the park. (se promener: the pronoun is the direct object → promenés agrees with the subject.)
Elle s'est souvenue de son nom. — She remembered his name. (se souvenir is essentially pronominal: souvenue agrees with the subject.)
Common mistakes
Elle s'est lavée les mains.
Elle s'est lavé les mains.
In se laver les mains, se is an indirect object (one washes the hands to oneself) and les mains, the direct object, follows the verb, so it cannot trigger agreement. The participle stays invariable: lavé, not lavée.
Prerequisites
Related rules
past-participleagreementpronominal-verbs