tu vs vous (politeness)

Summary

French has two words for "you": tu is the informal singular for people you are close to, while vous is both the polite singular for distance or respect and the only plural for any group.

Explanation

French splits the single English "you" into two pronouns whose choice signals your social relationship. Tu is the singular, informal form used with one person you feel close to or equal with: family, friends, children, classmates, pets, and peers in relaxed settings. Vous does double duty: it is the polite singular for one person you treat with distance or respect (a stranger, an older person, a customer, a teacher, a boss), and it is the only plural — the form for addressing two or more people, whatever your relationship with each of them.

Each pronoun carries its own verb form, so the choice ripples through the whole sentence. Compare tu parles, tu as, tu vas with vous parlez, vous avez, vous allez; the imperative differs too (viens! vs venez!), as do the possessives that go with the addressee (ton/ta/tes with tu, votre/vos with vous). Switching pronoun mid-conversation without reason sounds odd, so pick a level and stay with it for that person.

The two verbs that name this choice are useful to know: tutoyer (to address someone as tu) and vouvoyer (to address someone as vous). The move from formal to familiar is usually proposed explicitly and almost always by the senior or older person: On peut se tutoyer ? or Tu peux me tutoyer. Until that invitation comes, staying with vous is the safe, respectful default with any adult you do not know.

Getting it wrong carries real social weight. Using tu with a stranger, an official, or an elder can sound rude, overfamiliar, or even contemptuous; using vous with a close friend can sound cold or sarcastic. Workplaces, regions and generations vary — start-ups and younger speakers tutoient more readily, traditional and hierarchical settings keep vous longer — but the underlying signal (closeness vs respectful distance) is constant.

Decision rule: addressing more than one person? Always vous. Addressing one person you are clearly close to (friend, family, child)? Use tu. Addressing one adult you do not know well, or who outranks you? Start with vous and switch to tu only once it has been offered. When genuinely unsure with a single new contact, default to vous — it is far easier to be invited down to tu than to recover from an unwelcome tu.

Examples

Bonjour, vous allez bien aujourd'hui ? — Hello, are you doing well today? (Vous: polite address to one person you don't know well.)

Salut Léa, tu viens avec nous ? — Hi Léa, are you coming with us? (Tu: informal address to a friend.)

Les enfants, vous avez fini vos devoirs ? — Kids, have you finished your homework? (Vous as plural: a group, even though you'd say tu to each child.)

Excusez-moi, monsieur, pouvez-vous m'aider ? — Excuse me, sir, can you help me? (Vous with inversion for a respectful request to a stranger.)

On peut se tutoyer ? — Can we use tu with each other? (The standard phrase to switch from vous to tu.)

Maman, tu as vu mes clés ? — Mum, have you seen my keys? (Tu with close family.)

Common mistakes

Related rules

• Subject pronouns
• Stressed / disjunctive pronouns (moi / toi / lui)
• Québec interrogative particle -tu